NIRVANA

I believe that we have all been there at some point in our lives. Maybe we are starting something new or simply being in a situation where we lack a bit of self-confidence.

From performing my first Kata in karate class as a child to delivering technical trainings as an adult, leading around thirty men, to finally leading my own business. In all these instances, I felt a lack of self-confidence especially as an introvert however, I learned how to overcome them with time.

This article emphasizes how we can rise above our own self-doubts, limitations, and enhance our self-confidence.

Self-Awareness

The first step involves becoming aware of our feelings and naming the feeling. Is it lack of self-confidence, feeling nervous, or restlessness?

How does our body react? Maybe our heartbeat increases, or maybe our body feels stiff or guarded.

Identify the Root Cause

In what instances, do we feel this way? Is it in a specific environment or in the presence of specific people? Does it happen all the time or does it happen when we are in a new situation?

Lack of self-confidence may also result from early childhood experiences, traumas, bullying, past experiences like negative criticism, failure, rejection, or constant comparison. It can also result from being a perfectionist or an introverted person. Moreover, it can be a pattern of negative self-talk.

A life coach or therapist can help you to become aware of your patterns.

Reframing of Negative Thoughts

Reframe negative thoughts like “I am not good at this” to “With practice, I can become better at it”. “This feels like impossible to me” to “Why don’t I take the first step? “. “This feels too challenging for me” to “I have been able to rise above many challenges before”.

How we talk to our self impacts our self-confidence and motivation. Whenever a negative thought arises, write the thought down, reframe it, and then repeat it to yourself.

Small thoughts can create a big impact.

Reflect on What Skills, Resources, or Support Can Help

Ask yourself if there is a specific skill or course you can take to help you gain more confidence. For instance, if you feel a lack of confidence in your communication skills, maybe joining a public speaking club like Toastmasters can help. If you feel nervous about a job interview, you can seek support from a life coach who can help you with role plays so you can feel better prepared.

Continuous self-development can help like reading and achieving more knowledge in the specific field that you want to improve. Every tiny action that you take will have a long-term impact on growing your self-confidence.

Break Bigger Goals into Smaller Steps

By breaking bigger goals into smaller manageable steps, we can set SMART Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic, and Time-bound Goals. For instance, “I need to join a public speaking club” to “I will make a call to enquire about the club”. “I need to complete my course on leadership” to “I will complete the first chapter of my course today.”

Breaking larger goals into smaller steps helps to calm our nervous system and gently ease ourselves into the process without making it into a hurdle.

Repeat, Practice, Repeat…

Repetition helps us to gain confidence and strengthen our skills. When I used to give technical training, my first self-practice would be totally lacking in self-confidence. However, with practice I started to get better at it and finally nailed it.

Repetition calms our nervous system and when our nervous system feels safe, it can thrive more.

Embrace your Imperfections

Consider your mistakes as stepping stones to reach your goal. Every imperfection brings a learning experience. Know that you can always get better and embrace your imperfections.

By integrating your imperfections as part of the process, it is less seen as an obstacle but rather as a tool for further growth. Also, nobody was born perfect in this world and each one of us has our own imperfections.

Practice Gratitude

Practicing gratitude helps to enhance your self-confidence by shifting your focus to the positive things happening in your life like your achievements. In doing so, you can appreciate your values and small wins.

By expressing your gratitude, self-criticism decreases, increasing your positivity and motivation. Moreover, gratitude is known to rewire the brain by strengthening neural pathways related to positivity.

Gratitude increases resilience because it helps to focus on what we have rather than what we lack hence, helping us to overcome challenges.

A Coaching Experience

I recently coached a coachee who was struggling with self-confidence. Through reflective questions and roleplays, we worked on enhancing her self-confidence. The next week she met with me and told me that she was able to voice out in that situation and that she had never done that before. The spark in her eyes was my greatest satisfaction and I could already see her confidence in her body posture.

My Conclusion

Nobody was born self-confident however, self-confidence can be cultivated.

Through self-awareness, understanding the root-cause, reframing of negative thoughts, seeking the right support or resource, breaking bigger goals into smaller steps, repetition, and practicing gratitude, we can enhance our self-confidence.

As a life coach, I am here to accompany you in your journey towards self-confidence and reaching your highest potential.

In which area of your life are you struggling with self-confidence?

Yashna Veera

Life Coach and Yoga & Meditation Practitioner

NIRVANA