Throughout my training with Dr. Krishna Athal at the International Coaching Institute ICI, I have learned and experienced the art and power of listening in coaching, which is one of the most fundamental traits of a good coach.
1. Listening builds Trust
Listening builds a trust rapport between the coach and the coachee. Listening provides a safe and non-judgmental space for the coachee to express oneself and share one’s honest thoughts and feelings. Everything that the coachee shares is kept confidential and heard with deep respect. The coach listens with genuine interest and empathy and encourages open communication. When someone feels heard, it becomes easier for them to trust the listener and feel comfortable sharing their thoughts. Listening strengthens the emotional connection between the coach and the coachee. This, in turn, creates a positive environment for collaboration and problem-solving.
2. Listen with Curiosity and deep Presence
Listening with curiosity means joining the coachee in a quest to find out what’s there. It’s like the coach is exploring along with the coachee. In the coaching relationship, curiosity invites the coachee to search and reveal while permitting safe exploration. Furthermore, Listening with curiosity is also about showing genuine interest in the coachee’s well being and their journey of personal and professional growth. Being present means being completely focused on the coachee and listening attentively to what is being said. It means being in the NOW with the coachee. The coach’s attention is also on exploring the coachee’s values, purpose and vision.
3. Listen without Interrupting
Listening without interrupting allows the coachee to flow in his or her thoughts and feelings and express oneself fully. It is about giving that space for the coachee. Letting someone finish their thought allows us to grasp the full context of their message, including nuances and details we might miss if we interrupt. Listening without interrupting also shows respect and builds trust. Hence, enhancing the coaching relationship. When we do not interrupt, we avoid misinterpretations and avoid jumping to conclusions based on incomplete information. By listening without interrupting, we give value to what is being said and listen with care.
4. The Power of Silence
A powerful question is sometimes followed by a moment of silence. This moment of silence allows the coachee to reflect on the question and go deeper in one’s quest. Coachees are then able to connect with their inner self and gain clarity in terms of their goals and aspirations. We sometimes have a tendency to fill in these moments of silence but the real answer lies in the power of silence. It can lead to moments of realisation. greater clarity or enlightenment. Silence also provides space for emotional processing and often leads to self-discovery. Shared silence can deepen the relationship between the coach and the coachee. I believe that as a coach, it takes practice to master the skill of silence.
5. Active Listening Promotes Empowerment
As a coach, we listen and encourage the coachee to reach his or her own answers by tapping into one’s wisdom and resources. Hence, the coaching principle starts with the belief that every person is already creative, resourceful and whole. In doing so, the coachee feels empowered and more confident in taking one’s own decisions and actions. I believe that each one of us have unique strengths, talents and resources and the role of a coach is to help the coachee reach his or her highest potential. Coaching is not about giving advice but empowering a person. That is the beauty of coaching.
6. Listen to what is not being said
As a coach, we don’t only listen to the words being said but also what is not being said. We pay attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, tone of voice and facial expressions to gain a deeper understanding of a coachee’s emotional state. We observe the energy of the room and the surroundings. Moreover, we listen to resistance, fear and the voice of the Saboteur who is the internal voice inside our head that generates negative emotions in our day-to-day life. Listening is also about noticing the hurt behind a smile or the battles that we fight quietly by ourselves.
I believe that listening is a powerful skill that needs to be mastered as a life coach. However, listening forms part of our daily encounter with people, and listening can actually strengthen our bonds in our relationships. Sometimes, it can become rare to actually find someone who really listens to us because in today’s time, people are busy with their own schedules. Maybe, we can ask ourselves the question: How present are we when we listen to someone? That person can be our mother, father, sibling, spouse, friend, or colleague at work. But are we really listening to him or her with our full attention?
Yashna Veera, Life Coach and Yoga & Meditation Practitioner
NIRVANA 
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