NIRVANA

We are living in the modern era where people are busy posting their accomplishments, private moments, and highlights on their social media platforms. However, it is very rare that individuals post about their setbacks, their depression, and their raw hard times.

This article explores without judgment the Why behind sharing our accomplishments, significant moments, and highlights. Do we need to post our most cherished moments for them to be real?

The next time you are about to share something on social media, take a pause. Some moments do not need to be shared to be truly cherished.

Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs

Abraham Maslow came up with the psychological theory that human beings are driven or motivated by five basic level of needs. Once the first levels of need is fulfilled such as Physiological Needs and Safety and Security, we move to the next higher levels of Needs.

The third level is the love and belonging that we share with our friends, family, and other groups of people. Love and connection form part of our psychological needs. Throughout evolution, we have seen that humans lived in tribes for survival which explains that long-term isolation has negative impacts on our mental health like anxiety or depression.

Posting achievements and highlights on social media tend to satisfy our highest level of needs including feelings of belonging, receiving external validation, esteem needs such as gaining public praise, recognition, and driving personal growth leading to self-actualisation.

External Validation

Posting on social media generates likes and comments creating a boost of dopamine in the reward centre of our brain. This creates a cycle of instant gratification. Moreover, it reaffirms a sense of self-worth. For instance, we all know the feeling when we have changed our profile picture.

However, if a person ties this external validation to his or her self-worth, it might become a psychological danger.

External validation can also result from a feeling of insecurity, childhood attachment wounds, people-pleasing habits, or low self-esteem.

Loneliness

Posting on social media gives a temporary feeling of relieving loneliness. However, being connected digitally is not the same as real physical connection. Even though we are able to message or do video calls, digital connection does not convey the energy, warmth, or presence of real connection.

Sharing a photo on social media or getting likes causes only a mild or brief release of oxytocin compared to real physical face-to-face bonding. This explains why despite being connected digitally, people are feeling lonely. I believe that it is about finding a balance between real physical connection and digital connection.

Comparison

Social media often unconsciously drives a feeling of comparison especially among the younger generations. Every person is posting their highlights but it is often not reflecting their real life which consists of ups-and-downs and real life struggle.

Comparison can cause a lowering of self-esteem and can cause anxiety and depression. This creates a feeling of inadequacy or a feeling of being ‘not enough’.

Cherishing Our Significant Moments

I believe that not every accomplishment or private moment need to be shared. There are some moments that are cherished even more when they are kept private.

Being fully present in that moment is how you can cherish it. The highest evidence of that significant moment being real is that it is stored in your memory or hippocampus.

Not long ago, a friend made a speech on presence and how when he was busy taking photographs during a party, he could remember the colour that each person wore but he couldn’t remember the energy of the room. That stayed with me.

When we focus on performing or posting, we tend to miss the present moment and energy of that meaningful moment itself.

Once, a woman I admire gave me a handwritten note about myself. That note meant so much to me that I stick it in my notebook. I cherished that little piece of paper without the need to share it to other people.

My Final Reflection

One day during my morning walk, I saw a beautiful rainbow passing near the mountain. My instinct was to pick my phone to take a picture. Then, at that moment I paused. I asked myself why I wanted to take that picture. It would probably stay on my phone or probably I would share it. I stopped right there and finally just watched and cherished that beautiful rainbow.

We all post on social media for different reasons but maybe before posting we can ask ourselves the question, “Why do we want to share this post on social media?”

The next time you are posting something on social media, pause and ask yourself the real reason behind sharing it and whether it is something that you would prefer to cherish privately.

Yashna Veera, Life Coach and Yoga & Meditation Practitioner

NIRVANA